Without Me by Halsey  Life Lesson

without me : A song by Halsey discussing the destructive effects of losing oneself in a relationship because of the too much empathy, putting oneself behind, and giving away all power to another.

Lyrics and Extracted Meanings:

Found you when your heart was broke , I filled your cup until it overflowed.

When internally balanced and healed there is a little possibility of being too empathetic that the smallest painful experience of others triggers you.

so tending to give others too much is a trauma response trying to avoid the places that needs self compassion

because it is simply too painful to endure revisiting those places again.

Took it so far to keep you close,

too much willingness to give others rather than self is an unconscious  try  to ask for the same attention and care

and compassion and empathy while avoiding facing the pain of not being able to offer same love to oneself.

but things don’t go this way, not everything we give we actually get.

it is not that simple because the more you give others the more they expect you to keep giving.

especially if this happens with a self-absorbed  or self-centered partner who does just the exact opposite which is non-stopping take.

I was afraid to leave you on your own

A lot of times we leave ourselves behind.

we ignore the red flags, our feelings and our needs, our gut

our intuition and believes and principles to win the company of the people we care about.

but it is just a lost battle because we are fighting for keeping something other than ourselves.

while we willingly give another person a permission to have the upper hand on your life.

because we are too attached and codependent on them

when we are totally convinced that we are responsible for their happiness.

Also the unhealed abandoned parts of us are trying to prevent another from experiencing the same.

and this is human and very noble indeed,

but feeling guilty is not helpful

it only prevents us from taking the necessary action when it is needed, which will cause a chaos in our life  and  will make things get worse.

I said I’d catch you if you fall , And if they laugh, then // insult /// all .

And then I got you off your knees, Put you right back on your feet Just so you could take advantage of me

offering support  is the healthy state of partnership,

it is actually the main reason why relations exist at all.

but when the support is coming from one person and it is not reciprocated or mutual, then there is definitely something wrong .

Because the normal human tone is both give and receive just like breathing you cannot keep breathing in at all the times or breathing out at all times.

but such extremes happen in relations because there are two types of people who are not balanced ( the over givers ) and ( the over takers).

Over doing anything  distort rights

and creates unhealthy patterns,

and most of the time this over doing is related to a wrong belief  that needs to be altered and shifted.

like the subconscious idea of unworthiness, the over giver think subconsciously they are not worthy of receiving love without paying a price.

and the over taker has the wrong belief  of  I am better than everyone else that they all should give me what I want, and in the process they become extremely selfish and detached from their higher selves .

The way to Self-love :

Tell me how’s it feel sittin’ up there

Feeling so high but too far away to hold me

You know I’m the one who put you up there

Name in the sky

Does it ever get lonely?

Thinking you could live without me

When things get out of its normal balance, negative feelings start to emerge

the over taker feels unhealthy unreal superiority out of illusionary dominance and false feeling of over deserving .

And an over giver who feels frustration, unworthiness and  helplessness.

There is no winner in a toxic pattern.

all parties looses and all feel lonely inside even if they appeared different.

To come back to the natural balance of self-love,

we have to explore, address and heal the underlying believes behind unbalanced behaviors, and shift them.

Also shifting one’s actions to make the  balance is an effective way  too.

sure the over giver needs to open up to receiving more,

and the over taker needs to open up to giving more.

while both shall  let go of trying to control each other and the situation by playing ( the over doing ) roles just to avoid the fact that they both lack deep self-love and compassion.