Or Maybe I Could Eat My Words?!
Or Maybe I Could Eat My Words?! : a line from “Down side of me” by CHVRCHES , explains the very nature of shallow relations where someone gets to shut the other partner’s feelings off and deny him the right to bring up any uneasy feelings or negative emotions into a conversation or up for discussion .
Tell you that it’s no big deal
Maybe I can aim this high
Or maybe I could eat my words
In healthy relations, there shouldn’t be secrets, no shame, no fear of honest communication or confrontation.. because this is how things can be discussed and solved, this is how people can know each other on a deep level, and this what makes real intimacy comforting and empowering because in the safe space there is enough tolerance and capacity for two souls to thrive not only survive by trying to make everything look positive when it is not.
Denying emotions is the very meaning of narcissism, any blocking for the emotional flow is a detachment from oneself, and when an irrelevant flow is created away from the original self, it makes another kind of blocking and further detachment; it is a dark place that does not seem to see light.
And by saying no secrets, doesn’t mean violating each other’s personal space or crossing their boundaries that keep everyone a separate sovereign entity, but it means you are able to feel crap and you are able to express without fear for being judged.
I believe, I believe And tell myself to think forward
I will show I believe And hold you up and know that you’re all , I see in the light And never do what I used to
She wants to avoid the headache and the judgment that happens when she is talking true emotions, she thinks that if she keeps everything look right and positive that things will be alright w.. but this makes a very unstable, untrue, shallow relation because human connections should have both sides ( positive and negative ) to get a ground, stable enough to thrive and be fulfilling.
Same for the relation with oneself, if one keeps hiding his uneasy feelings from himself and don’t attend to them, always in a denial mood … it makes him unreal which causes anxiety and low self-esteem and further toxic habits to compensate like addictions all kinds and the worst of all ” the birth of ego ” that can turn to very nasty want to belittle others in some extreme cases.
To be able to attend to happiness fully, you shall be able to attend to the negative feelings fully first… because the magic divine trick is when you deny your uneasy emotions like guilt, like sorrow, like grief , like regret, like shame … you are cutting those parts from your consciousness.
imagine having a cutter while cutting down all the parts that you don’t like from you own emotional body just not to face them , yes this is what you are doing tearing yourself down .
you think you got rid of them but no , they are consciousness if you don’t give them attention and respect they start to work against you in the dark like little demons , they won’t shut up until you see them , and confess you have them , and deal with them with compassion , also taking the necessary actions that helps in the situation.
a healthy person is not the one who knows his light well , he is the one who knows his darkness and is not afraid of confessing them .